Well, it has been a busy day today.  My wife woke me out of a sound sleep to get up for breakfast.  Then after breakfast, I went back to sleep to finish, and she woke me up again to do something else.  I think, in all, she had 4 or 5 tasks for me, which took up the whole day.  Then I had to help with dinner.  So here I am at the end of the day, and I have to do 4 baskets of laundry.  I never got to work on my cartoon once today.  I even told her that I wanted to work on the cartoon, and all she did was role her eyes.  That kind of tells me that she doesn't believe in me.  Oh well, nothing new there.  No one has ever believed in me for anything.  Maybe if I had a little moral support once in a while, I would follow through on something.  Oh well.

 

Oh, by the way, I wanted to go to my friend's son's baseball game today and I wasn't able to because of my "old ball and chain".  So, sorry Tom.  I tried.

 

My Dad finally got his flashlight.  And he paid for it himself.  But he says he is broke.  Heck, I just gave him $50 on friday.  How in the world can he be broke on Tuesday, especially when he hasn't been out of the house.

 

Well, that is it for now.  See you next month.

 

 

Well, not much happened today.  All I can report on is that I made a short movie on Flash just to get a little experience.  It is just a stickman running.  It took about an hour to do.  I did learn a lot while doing it.  So now that I know that I can put flash on this site, I have put it up for you.  Just got to the menu bar on the left side and click on Flash Movies.  It is the only one on the page so far.  It is quite unremarkable though.

 

Later.

 

 

Well, not much happened today.  I took my Dad to church this morning.  Then I took him out for brunch buffet.  He ate a lot, some of it he shouldn't have.  Then he asked me to go to K-mart to get 2 D batteries.  So we did.  I brought the batteries out and he responded by saying, "What the hell did you get this for?"  I told him, "you asked for 2 D batteries and that is what I got."  He says, "What am I supposed to use these for?  I don't have a flashlight yet."  Well, apparently, he wanted me to get him a flashlight that took 2 D batteries.  But at no time did he say the word "flashlight".  Then as we drove away, he got pissed.  He says "God Damnit!  What am I supposed to do with these?"  I told him, "Oh, now you did it.  You took the Lords name in vain.  You are going to hell now."  I knew that would get him.  But he said, "You're right."  Some Christian, huh?  Then on the way home, he says, "I should have known you would have messed it up."  That was the last straw.  I told him, "Don't you dare try to blame me for this one.  You are the one who asked for 2 D batteries, not me.  I did exactly what you said.  You didn't even say the word flashlight.  It is not my fault if you didn't tell me the right thing to get."  He then said, "Well, I'm going with you when we get it or not at all."  I said, "Well, then it is not at all.  Next time you want something, pay for it out of your spending money."  I mean, he gets $25 a week to spend, but he doesn't spend anything.  So he should have the money to spend on a flashlight.

 

Anyway, when we got home, he went to sit in his room and stayed in there most of the day.  Not a lot happened after that.

 

I just can't believe he tried to blame me for his mistake.  Then again, I can believe it.  Because in his mind, he is always right and everyone else is wrong.  It has always been that way.  He doesn't listen to anything anyone else might have to say on the subject.  And if something goes wrong, it is someone elses fault.  I just hope I don't end up like that.

 

Later.

 

God, I am tired of being so broke.  I gotta do something to make some serious money.

 

I guess I shouldn't have watched this special on VH1 on what stars spend on things.  But DAMN!  I wish I could make 1/10th of what they spend.  How the hell can they make so much money when most of the population of the United States is in debt and jobless.  How do they do it?  How can I do it?  I mean, I want to enjoy my life too.  I want to go to the Bahamas on a big ship.  I want to be able to go clubbing.  What's the use.  It will never happen for me.  But then again, Tony Robbins says if you think you can do it, you can.  If you think you can't, you definately can't.  I just have to find a way.  But my location really cuts the posibilities of this happening.  No one important ever comes here.

 

Oh well, SSDD.

 

Later.

 

Well, it is just another crappy day in this crappy house on this crappy street in this crappy town in this crappy state.  Can you guess how I feel today?  Yup!  Crappy!  But such is the case when I first wake up.  How would you feel if you were pulled away from a good life with excitement and new people to meet for this life I have.  It would piss you off.  Sure it isn't real, but it is about as real as how my life seems.  I don't get to interact with anyone unless my wife and Dad are there, and the only time I get to go out of the house alone is when I have to go to the store for something for my wife.  That sounds like a fucking nightmare to me.

 

Anywho, I haven't been able to get on the computer lately because of the severe thunderstorms in the area.  All my wife could do is laugh about how depressed I was to be without internet.  That's compassion for you.

 

What ever happened to my hopes and dreams?  I wanted to be a computer programmer.  I wanted to live in the big city, go out every night, have lots of friends, make lots of money, be happy?  What happened to those dreams?                Oh yeah...  My Dad crushed them a long time ago by not paying for me to go to college.  But there shouldn't be anything stopping me now.  I could still do it.           Oh wait, I am 33 years old with no job, bad credit, married, and have to take care of my father 24/7.  Well, I guess my life is over.

 

Sorry, I am not going to kill myself or anything.  I am too much of a coward to do that.  I just woke up depressed this morning.  But this is what I go through every morning when I get up.

 

My wife developed some pictures of the camp out that we hosted for her niece.  In the pictures was a picture of me.  I look like Fat Bastard from Austin Powers of Jaba the Hut of Star Wars.  It just brought my mood down even more than it was.  I need to lose weight.  But when I cut down on sugar and how much I eat, I get low blood sugar episodes and almost pass out.  I would go to the doctor, except I have no money or insurance.  Great!!!  Another thing to live for.

 

Oh well, we'll see how well the day goes.

 

Well, not a lot happened today.  I worked on my cartoon a little.  I tried to study the cartoons on TV to get some pointers... aka I watched TV all day.

 

I am trying to avoid watching E! network or anything that shows the "fabulous" lifestyle of the rich and famous.  It just makes me depressed.

 

It was Hella hot today.  Well, not so much hot, but humid.  But after the sun went down, it cooled off and was nice.

 

My Dad's birthday is tomorrow.  We are all going out for buffet at his favorite restaurant.  So I have to pick up his woman at noon and have some substandard chow.  Oh well.  At least I don't have to cook.

 

Well, I guess that is it for now.

 

Later.

 

 

I am really getting tired of not getting any help from the wife.  She doesn't want to do anything but watch TV.  Anytime she needs anything, she calls me and asks me to get it.  She should get off her lazy but and get it herself instead of calling me.  What am I, her slav-o-matic?  But if I tell her no, she gives me a guilt trip and I still end up getting it.  All I ever ask of her is to do the dishes, and yet again, the pots and pan have been sitting in the sink waiting for her to continue doing them.  They have been waiting for 5 days so far.  In the mean time, I have nothing to cook with to feed everyone.  What to do.  I got tired of her waiting to do the silverware, so I bought some plastic forks, knives, and spoons to eat with.  I gotta do what I gotta do.  But overall, she is more of a burdon than a help.

 

 

 

Hello all.

 

I went and shaved my head again tonight.  It is just better that way.  After I had all of my hair off, I noticed that I have "neck-ferters".  In case you don't know what that is, it is when the back of your neck wrinkles up to look like a package of hotdogs.  It isn't pretty.  It really tells me that I need to loose weight.  It is so hard for me to loose weight.  I have no self control.  I would hate to weigh myself right now.  I bet I am getting close to 400 lbs.  Sometimes I wonder if that is why I am not getting job offers.

 

I was watching some TV today and it kind of occured to me that, by living in this town, I am missing out on a lot of what America has to offer.  There is no big name gyms here.  There is barely anything to do. There are no good places to shop, no good places to eat, and nothing to attract people to the area.  In a big city, there are tons of things to do and you can make friends with the people you meet doing these things.  I have nothing to do here and no one to meet here.  I guess I am truely trapped here.

 

Well, I guess that is it for now.

 

Later.

 

Well, another day in the books.

 

I didn't get a chance to read today.  I think I prefer to read outside, but today was a little hot to go and read outside.  So I stayed inside and worked on my drawing technique.  So the day wasn't a total loss.

 

I started setting up my cartoon on Flash today.  If I get a little overwhelmed, I just have to remember that I have to take baby steps.  Eventually, it will get done.

 

I have been trying to think of some stories I could tell, but it is difficult to remember all of the things that happened at work.  After all, it has been two years since my last day at work.

 

Well, that is it for now.

 

Later.

 

Well, just another glorious day here.  At least the weather is nice for August.

 

Today consisted mostly of sitting outside and trying to read my Dreamweaver book.  And I got about half way through chapter 2.  Not too bad.

 

I took a short walk with my Dad today, just to keep him quiet.  He can't say that I don't do anything with him, though he would probably prefer that I didn't.

 

I also almost got the laundry done today.  God is this exciting or what?

 

I also worked on the script for my cartoon.  It is difficult to find anything funny anymore, especially when I am thinking about my life.  It is more irony and misfortune than just plain funny.  And irony and misfortune don't come out well in a cartoon.  To tell you the truth, I am more worried about drawing than the script.  I don't think I am a good artist.  But then I look at all of those cartoons on TV that are terrible, and I feel a little better.  I have to remember that the line between good cartoons and acceptable cartoons is very blurry.  And bad cartoons are put on TV even though they are bad.  What counts are the stories.  Without the stories, there is no need for the drawings.  So I have to work on the stories and make them funny.  The art comes later.

 

Well, I guess that is it for now.  Later.

 

 

Today wasn't too bad, other than having to get up to take my Dad to church.

 

I grilled out tonight for Dinner.  Hotdogs and hamburgers for all.  I enjoy it every now and them.

 

My wife decided to rent some movies tonight.  I didn't care for them so I used the time to do the laundry and read some of my Dreamweaver MX book.  It is an interesting program.  I can't wait to finish it so I can build websites. 

 

I am still working on my cartoon.  It is difficult to write a script when you have no experience at it.  I'm sure that after the first one, the rest will come easier.  I am having trouble with deciding how to tell the stories or even what stories to tell.  It is difficult, but not impossible.  I will get through it.

 

I saw on E! today, how Paris and Nikki Hilton got all of their money and what they had to do for it.  Let me tell you, it wasn't much.  Pretty much, all they had to do was be born and wait til they were 21 or what ever age their trust fund comes due.  But these girls don't know what real work is.  I think Nikki came closer to work than Paris even though Paris did all that work on "The Simple Life", and "The Simple Life 2".  All Paris did in those shows is goof off.  At least Nikki has her own successful bag line.  But still, these girls have no idea what the real people in this country have to do just to make the money Paris and Nikki spend on a meal.  I wish I could have that kind of money.

 

I am so sick of living the poor life.  I mean, I don't want to be filthy rich.  But it would be nice to make enough money to not have to worry about bills and expenses all the time.  I am just tired of coming down to the nitty gritty at the end, or middle of every month.  Is it wrong to want that?

 

Well, that is about it for now.  Later.

 

 

 

Well, not much happened today.  I went to pay the van payment and since the wife and my Dad were not with me, I went for a little walk in the mall.  It reminded me of so much that I miss in my life.  Here are some of my thoughts.

 

I am tired of looking the way I do.  Anymore, I don't care how I look because even when I am dressed nice, I look like crap.  I want to be professional looking.  I want people to look at me and see a successful person.  It just isn't happening the way I am now.

 

I am so sick of these 18-25 year old women walking around with their perfect boobs and their flat stomaches and wearing skin tight or near skin tight clothes.  Whenever I see one of these women, I first feel attracted to her, then I get angry because, even if I wasn't married, she wouldn't even talk to a guy like me.  Then I get even angrier at her for making me feel bad about myself.  Just because you can wear skin tight clothes, doesn't mean you should.  Who are you wearing it for anyway?  If you see someone like me checking you out, you say something like "What the hell are you looking at?"  Oh, by the way, if you don't have a good body, you shouldn't wear tight clothes either.  That should just be common sense.

 

What kind of world are we living in when a 16 year old can get a job, but a 33 year old man with 9 years of customer service experience and 1 1/2 years of supervisor experience can't get the same job.  This "overqualified" bullshit is exactly that.  Companies and businesses should jump at the chance to hire someone with that much experience for such a low wage.  But here I sit, jobless.

 

I am tired of settling in my life.  I have never gotten what I really want out of life.  I don't want to live in this shit hole of a town.  I have to because I settled for it because of my wife.  I didn't want this house either.  I had to settle for it because I was tired of living under a crack house and listening to the bass of a stereo all day and night.  So we settled for the first approved house that was available.

 

By the way, what is it with people listening to music in their cars so loud that it shakes the windows in my house?  Are they deaf?  At that rate, the will be soon.  I should invest in hearing aid companies for the future, because at this rate, a lot of people will be needing them.

 

Well that is all of the thoughts I could remember.

 

That is about it for now.

 

Later.

 

Well, not much happened today.  I am going to work on my cartoon and read my Dreamweaver MX book so when I get my cartoon finished, I will be able to create a killer website to go with my cartoon.  Maybe someone will buy it for Comedy Central or Cartoon Network.  It could happen.

 

I went out with my best friend tonight to have a "get away from our wives" night.  Unfortunately, the place we went was not he quiet place that I was hoping to go.  But there were some cuties there to look at.  So it wasn't a total loss.

 

Well, that is about it.  Later.

 

 

This morning, I had a disturbing dream.  I dreamed that a big corporation called me and wanted me to work for them.  I got my own office and didn't even have to punch in.  They wanted me for the skills that I have and didn't even want to train me.  It was wonderful.  I was so happy there and everyone liked me because I knew what I was doing.  But then I woke up...  to the hell that is my real life.

 

Why can't I find a real job?  It isn't like I don't have skills.  Hell, I can't even find a part time job at a Dollar store.  What the fuck is going on.  I was a Supervisor for a year and a half.  I have over 5 years of customer service experience.  Why can't I get hired?

 

When I was 16, I thought a job was there just for the money.  Then after I had a few jobs, I learned that I needed to build a career.  A career is where you stay at the same job for years and move up the ladder to where you want to be.  You learn to like your job and you get good at it through the years.  But now that I have been out of work for 2 years, I am seeing it again like I was a 16 year old.  I have tried to start another career with another company.  I answered all of their questions like I was planning to stay there for a long time.  And what did it get me?  Nothing.  And now, I can't even get a job doing manual labor.  So I can't get a job that a 16 year old would get.  Where does that leave me?

 

I have to find something soon or I will start going crazy.  It isn't natural for the male of the species to stay at home and do nothing to contribute.  I am supposed to be the provider.  But all I feel like is the lead weight that is slowing everyone else down.  How depressing.

 

Well, that is it for now.

 

 

Well, we hosted a little camping party for my wife's neice yesterday.  Ten 12 year-old camped out in a tent in our back yard.  But even though I am an old fogie, I had fun making smores and grilling out.  We were up til 1 am and then I had to have my father take a shower for church today, since he refused to take a shower all week.  So I was up til 3 am.  Then, I got up at 9:30 am to take him to take him to church.  The wife made me pancakes and one sausage link.  And she neglected to tell me that they were Semi-sweet chocolate chip pancakes.  So it was a little of a shock on the first bite.

 

I tried to get some naps in a couple times today, but everytime I got to sleep, my wife woke me up.  Even when she left, just as I got to sleep, she decided to call and wake me up so I could drag my ass out to the garage to get a tarpe ready for her.  Then I had to load the tarpes into the van, like she couldn't get out of the van to load tarpes into the back of the van.  Personally, I don't see why she couldn't have just gotten them out of the garage when she got home.  Oh well.  I guess being married mean you are a personal slave.  I mean, I don't ask her to do stuff like that.  I don't know why I need to do it for her.  But you have to do what you need to do to keep the peace.

 

Well, that is it for now.

 

Later.

 

 

Well, I am happy to report that my Dad hasn't attempted escape since I put the new rule in place.  So it is working, and he is safer for it.

 

I see that now I am able to put Flash movies on this website.  I will have to create a new website just for the cartoon because on the file size of my cartoons.  But rest assured, I will put a link on this site so you can see my latest creation.

 

Not much else is happening.  My wife is preparing to have a Hawaiian party for her neice and she has me working in the yard making things like a fire pit and other such tasks.  What can you do?  So I am tired.

 

Also, we all have been sick for about a week.  It is one of those summer colds that everyone gets when the weather changes.  At least I don't have to miss any work for the cold. :P

 

Well, that is about it for now.  Later.

 

Well, today was pretty hectic from the start.  When I woke up this morning, my Dad was gone.  I was extremely ticked off.  I have told him repeatedly that he can't go anywhere without me or my wife.  I told him that, for his own safety, he needs to have someone with him when he goes somewhere.  After all, his vision isn't that good and people in this town don't care if they run someone over.  Heck, he could get mugged for a few dollars if he isn't careful.  So I had to pull out the big guns.  It is obvious that he doesn't care if he hurts me.  He doesn't follow any of my rules.  It is also obvious that all he cares about is money, since that is all he talks about.  So I got him where it hurts.  He has told me that he wants an allowance of $100 a month to "Keep on him".  I don't know why he needs this because anywhere he goes, all he has to do is ask for something and I can buy it for him.  Anyway, the only way I can see that he will follow the rules is by taking away his spending money.  It isn't like I am stealing his money.  Anything he needs, I will buy for him.  But I told him that everytime he sneaks out, he will loose $10 of his spending money.  Since he likes to sneak out all the time without me, either he will not have any spending money left, or he will stay home.  I am hoping that he will just stay home.  So I am making this record so that if he comes back later and says that I am stealing all his money, then I can show what I am doing.  He was writing in a little notebook and wanted to know what today was.  For what, I can only imagine.

 

Well, that is it for now.

 

Sorry I haven't written in a while.  But it isn't as if anyone reads this stuff.

 

I am thinking about what I could do in the Flash line.  I was going to do a totally different cartoon than the comic, but then I thought, why not just make the cartoon from the comic.  It wouldn't be that hard to do.  Anyway, I am still working out the drawings and the storylines.  I lost all of my comic storylines when I did the last format on my hard drive.  This should be a lesson to all.  When you back up on a CD or DVD, verify that it burned properly.

 

Well, I think that is about it for now.