|
6/24/2004
7:05pm
Well, it has been a horrible day.
My Dad and I got in a yelling match on the way home from his blood test... as usual. One of these
days, he will give me a heart attack. He thinks he knows everything and everyone else knows nothing. He trusts
no one. That isn't a life as I would call it.
I saw that show "The Simple Life 2" last night. That show is driving me crazy. Paris Hilton
and Nicole Riche are a couple of spoiled rich kids that think the whole world should bow to them and everything they do is
ok. They have no concept that what they do effects other people than themselves. Last night, they had to work
as maids at a nudest colony. Not only did they not get naked, but they broke about every rule in the book. They
cut their uniforms to make the skirts shorter, they never did their jobs at all. In fact, when the supervisor left them
alone, they went through the things of the person staying in the room, wore their clothes, ordered room service and charged
it to the room, and then called the maid to clean the room for them. You would think that Paris, being from a family
who made their money in the hotel business would be more respectful of people who patronize hotels. I would have fired
them and then sued them for the inconvienence of them working there. I know that I will never stay at a Hilton Hotel
ever again.
Paris did say that she was acting up for the show when she was on David Letterman. I think she said
that to cover her ass though.
I went to Hardee's for dinner tonight, mostly for my Dad. They got my order wrong again. So
my wife filled out a service comment card. Of course, she put my name on it. Isn't that like a woman. She
takes no credit for the things she does, unless it is something good. Anyway, I will never eat there again.
Well, that is it for now.
6/23/2004
11:45pm
Well, I caught my Dad trying to sneak out this morning again. I don't know what to do with him.
I am getting a little discouraged with my quest for a job. I wish I could find something locally.
But there is nothing in this area.
My Dad has to go to get his blood tested tomorrow. I am not looking forward to the trip. I hope
the results are not tainted by something he did today. When I gave him his dinner tonight, he wanted some pickles.
So I set the jar out for him. There weren't that many in the jar. So when I cleaned up, I looked at the jar and
it had about a quarter inch of the pickle brine left in the jar. I asked him what happened to the missing juice.
He said he drank it. YUCK!!!!!! That is just gross. I couldn't believe he did that. He has no consideration
for what that does to his body. What is wrong with him? That is bound to have some effect on his blood test
tomorrow. Stupid.
I can't think of anything else to say for now. Later.
6/22/2004
10:59pm
God, I am in such a mood tonight. My wife has been on my case ever since she came home from work.
All she wants me to do is the things she wants done. Then when I get a free minute to relax and do something for me,
she calls me to do something else for her. Today, I was on the internet doing something to relax, and she calls me outside.
I yell out to her, "What do you want?" She just says "Just come out here." So I go out there, and she wanted me
to look at a bug she found. What the fuck is that? I was doing something and she interupted my peace to look at
a bug? I blew up and in turn, pissed her off. I cooked a big dinner, took care of my father all day, and had to
endure her griping about how the house is a mess and I will be cleaning it up tomorrow, and when I
get a moments peace, she has me look at a bug. So now she is mad at me, and I have to deal with the guilt of pissing
her off. She has no concept that just because I can't find a job and am not doing something in front of her, that it
doesn't mean that I am not doing something. If she goes out and works in the yard, and I go out to sit outside for a
few minutes, she thinks I am doing nothing and I should help her. But if I ask her to do something to help me with my
Dad, she give me this, "You can do it.", or " I'll do it after this show.", or something like that. In short, I
am to drop anything I find important to help her with her stuff. Can you say, "Slave-o-matic"? I think she just
doesn't appreciate me. She forgets all that I do around here.
Oh, and another thing. All of my stuff is junk, but she is always buying these nick nacks to put all
over this house. They have no useful purpose but to take up space and money. At least my stuff has a purpose.
She says, if I don't put away all of my stuff, she is throwing it all out. I told her that if she does that, she is
paying for replacing it.
She also informed me that she is buying a pool. She says she is putting it on layaway. First
of all, you need a fence up before you get a pool to keep all of the kids from jumping in and drowning. Secondly, the
pool is not a necessary item. She can't even raise enough money to get the materials to fix the roof on the garage.
You should always do what is needed before you do what you want. The roof is a need, the pool is a want. Plus,
the pool she is looking at is only 3.5 feet high and not very strong. It isn't worth the $250 to buy it. She needs
to get her priorities in order. I am not making money so we can't live like Thurston Howel III. We have to economize.
Well, enough about her.
I am considering finishing my flash book first, before I move on to another book. I have only 5 chapters
to go until it is done, so it makes sense that I should finish it and add it to my resume. Then, the Dreamweaver.
I need to get back into the "Read like it is your job" thing. I should be reading 8 hours a day like it is my job.
If I did that, I would be through a book in a week if I tried. I have to stop these distractions and kick some ass.
If I can't do it now, there is no point in doing school on the internet, because I will never get the first assignment done.
Well, that is it for now.
6/17/2004
2:49pm
God I hate all of those job search sites. They make the jobs look so intimidating. Not only
do they have nothing in my area, but they have nothing that I am qualified for. What the hell is a normal guy supposed
to do to find a job? The only hope is to apply to them all and if they hire me, they might train me. But personally,
I don't think I would get through the interview looking good enough that they would hire me.
My Dad sneeked out again today and my wife caught him. It is amazing that he won't listen to his own
son, but he will listen to his son's wife. But she doesn't take crap from him.
Thats it for now.
6/15/2004
1:41pm
Well, I just got the call that I didn't get the job I interviewed for. It was expected. After
all, if it was easy for me to get a job, I would have one. I just have to move on and educate myself.
My Dad sneaked out again this morning. I locked the deadbolt lock early this morning. But when
I took the dog out, the deadbolt was unlocked. All I can say is, if he gets ran over trying to cross the street, it
is his fault. He can't even see to clean off a wall then it is dirty. Plus, he doesn't wear his glasses properly
when he walks, so he REALLY can't see to cross the street. I have no way to stop him.
I think today, I will send out my resume to everyone on the internet. I built my resume into a TXT
file so it transfers easily to the major job search engines. So away we go!
Thats it for now.
6/14/2004
2:28pm
Hello everyone. I don't even know if anyone is reading this thing, but I'll assume that someone is.
Well, last night, I saw this movie on T.V. called Bruce Almighty. It was a funny movie starring Jim
Carey. He was excellent in it. After I saw the movie, I went to bed and couldn't get to sleep.
I started going over the movie in my mind. And I found a very interesting message in it. In the movie, God
tells Bruce that everyone wants God to do everything for them. Everyone wants a miracle. But God isn't
the one that performs miracles every day. We are. People don't really know what they want.
If we really want something to happen, we will do anything to make it happen ourselves. So we should try to "be
the Miracle", as it was put in the movie.
I was a lot like Bruce in the movie. I was down on my luck, blamed it on everyone but myself.
I never took advantage of that was presented to me. And I was never happy with what I had. But now I see that
I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a nice house, a loving wife that puts up with me, a true friend
that I would do anything for and he would do anything for me, and I am somewhat healthy. I have a lot that other
people don't have and never will have. So I should be thankful. Now if I want things to become better, I
am going to roll up my sleeves and do a little hard work, because I am the miracle. It will be hard and slow, but it
will be time well spent. The point is, don't ask God to do stuff for you, ask God to give you the strength
to do stuff for yourself. God is like Dear Abby. He/she is there for advice and support, not to take
the workload. A very interesting lesson.
Now I am by all means no religious fanatic. Heck, I hardly go to church anymore. But once
in a while, I do think about religion. And this is the thought I had about it when I watched this movie.
On another note, I had my job interview on Friday. I have a chance, but I am not going to
get my hopes up. On the good side, I got my resume updated and am ready to hand out some more all over the internet.
Wish me luck.
Well, that is about it for now.
6/7/2004
11:55pm
Sorry for not adding anything yesterday. Things kind of got out of hand. Anyway...
Today, my wife and I left the house for just a few minutes to get something for everyone to eat, and my
Dad sneeked out. By the time we knew he was gone, he was 6 blocks away. Why can't he follow the rules? It
is for his own safety. I guess he doesn't care if he hurts me or not. I can't take this much longer. Something
is going to give soon.
I got a job prospect today working at a trucking company in a clerical position. It isn't very promising
because the woman said that she has been getting swamped with calls for the position. So I am not going to build up
my hopes.
I also found out that I don't owe anything to the college I went to and had to drop out of. So as
soon as I can pay off the balance of the student loan I owe, I can start going to school again and at least get my Associates
Degree. I would like to go to a decent school after that for my Bachalor's degree, but I am limited by the distance
to commute. There are two colleges in a 60 mile radius that I could go to and still be able to drive everyday.
We will see. I might just apply to one of those online schools after I finish my Associates. But school is my
last hope.
Well, that is it for now.
6/6/2004
1:54am
Well, I've gotten some good news. I found out that I am very close to being able to go back to school.
I only have to pay off the student loan that I have in default and I will be able to get financial aid to go
back to school. I only have 1 semester to go to finish my associates in Gen. Ed. Then I can go to a real college
to get the "good" degree. Then maybe I can skip out on this little deadend town.
I just got back home. I had to go somewhere to decompress from being with my Dad so long.
I went to this new bar in a near by town. It is right on the river. The owner's wife was one of the most perfect
looking women I've ever seen. You could tell that she had a boob job. But her stomach along with the
rest of her body didn't have an ounce of fat on her. I could have looked at her all night, but I am
married. But just because I'm on a diet doesn't mean I can't look at the menu.
Well, that is it for now. I will write later since this is so early in the morning.
6/3/2004
10:41am
Well, I just got back from the doctor with my Dad. We had another yelling match about everything.
It has become apparent that he never loved me as a son. I don't even know why he had me. In his eyes, I will always
be worthless. All he can think about is money. And it is useless to argue with him because he can't understand
anything you try to tell him. Then when you give up on trying to tell him, he gets mad. It is a loose/loose situation.
All I ever wanted from him is respect. I don't care about his money or house. But evidently,
he is not willing to give me any respect even though I make his meals, give him a place to sleep, give him the Westerns 24
hours a day for him to watch. All he can say is, "You're spending all of my money!" Well, if it wasn't for my
brother, I would show him how much I don't want his money and put him in a home. That way, the state can take call of
his assets to pay for his care.
Sometimes, I don't know why I even go on. The only thing I have to live for is my wife. I can't
find a job, I have no money, no one bothers to help me, and my father doesn't show any sort of love towards me even though
I saved his life and am taking care of him on a daily basis. All I do is give. Well, the way I feel, I am about
to give up. Why should I go on?
6/1/2004
10:41pm
Well, here I am again.
My best friend has faced a tragedy that no parent should have to go through. The death of a child.
I am so sorry for his loss. I wish I could make all of the pain go away for him and his wife. But there is nothing
I can do but be there for them and support them in their time of need. They know they can call on me at anytime for
anything. I wish there was more I could do.
I have been thinking about going back to school lately. Unfortunately, I still have the credit mess
to deal with before I will even be allowed to go back to school. You see, years ago, I was going to school, and then
I had an accident. I didn't go back and my student loans came due. I didn't pay anything on them so the garnished
my income tax returns. I still owe some amount under $50 and they want me to pay that. Unfortunately, I am currently
unemployed and can't afford to pay anything on any bill. But by not paying anything voluntarily, I was put into default
and will probably be denied any future financial aid for school. I tell you, when I screw up my life, I don't kid around.
I couldn't screw it up better if I tried.
I have very recently seen a show on this porn chick, Asia Carrera. She is a hot girl and she plays
Unreal Tournament. In fact, she makes her own skins. She made a skin of a topless woman that looks like her.
When she uses it, the guys stop to look at her and that leaves them open to get Fragged. That is the perfect woman.
She is HOT and Smart.
I went to McDonalds to eat with the family today. I got 2 McChicken sandwiches and medium fries and
drink. Then I went to sit down and could hardly fit in the booth. Looks like it is time to go on a McDiet.
Maybe I should eat on Subway's low fat menu. Or maybe I should stop eating 2 or 3 meals in one. I gotta go back
to exercising before I can't fit into the van to go somewhere. Maybe when the wife comes home, she can watch my Dad
and I can go for a nice relaxing walk for a few hours. I will try that after tomorrow.
Well, that is it for now.
Later.
|
