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5/29/2004
11:00pm
What's up everyone? Not a lot to report about anything.
I had to take my father to the Doctor this week. I was really not looking forward to taking him because
of the problem of him thinking that the doctor is trying to get all of his money and finding things wrong with him to get
it. So the day before we had to go, I told him that we had to go to get his blood tested and he went into a fit about
the doctor saying that he was a crook and the doctor was only in it for the money. I told him that of course the doctor
was in it for the money. And then I asked him if he would have spent so many years in the factory if he didn't get paid
for it. He didn't have anything to say about it. So he walked away. Then, when we went, he didn't complain
once. That surprised the hell out of me. He was also pulling all of the "Jesus will teach you" crap on me.
He asked me if I was ready for Jesus and I told him that I was ready anytime he wants to take me. Then it got on the
subject that I will find out on Judgement Day. I told him what he told me many times. That God will have a list
of all the things he has done wrong in his life. Then I told him that it will take a very long time to get through his
list. It also came up where I told him that all he thinks about is money. And the Bible says that money is the
root of all evil. And if all he thinks about is money, then he is in the clutches of the devil. He couldn't argue
with my logic. Whether he will change his ways is another matter.
Odd Todd got another cartoon put up on his website. It is really funny and introduces that he will
be on Comedy Central in 2005. I recommend that you go see it and all of his cartoons if you haven't yet. The link
is in my links.
I had to go tape an awards program at my wife's nephew's school. And in the first grade, there was
a kid named Austin Powers. When I heard that, I almost burst out laughing. I wasn't able to hold back saying "Yeah,
baby. Yeah!" really softly. It happened twice and got on the tape. But I couldn't help myself.
Well, that is it for now.
5/22/2004
6:33pm
Well, it has been a boring day. It is so hot here. It rained a little so that just added to
the humidity. All I can do is lay in my bedroom and roast in my own juices.
Today, I had to go to the grocery store to get some charcoal lighter fluid. I know, it will only make
me hotter to cook out. But there was a girl and a guy in the army in front of me in line. It kind of made me think.
They are doing something important with their lives. I don't seem to be able to do shit with mine. Then it made
me think a little. I thought, maybe it isn't that I want to make a lot of money. Maybe it is that I want to make
a difference in the world. What I really want is to have a normal life. I don't want to get a job to make a lot
of money or to be powerful. I just want to have a normal life where I go to work 9 to 5 and earn a nice living without
having to worry about the things I have to worry about now. I don't know what I need to do to make this happen.
I can't find a job in my area, and I have no education.
Speaking of education, I have been thinking about getting an education on line. But like everything
else in life, it costs money. So I will have to research this a little more. Or see about a payment plan..
What the FUCK is the deal with the gas prices lately. I mean it wasn't even this high when the twin
towers were attacked. I think it is some greedy bastards that know that there is no other source to go to for gas, and
we need it to function in our lives, so they can charge as much as they want. All these price hikes will do
is supercharge the hybrid car and Hydrogen cell car industries. I know that when I have the means, my next car will
be at least a hybrid car. I can't afford these gas prices. How does the government expect us to pay these prices
when they let all the companies move all the jobs to mexico or some other foreign country? Doesn't make much sense to
me. Sounds like they want to make people leave the country, because that is the only way people will be able to afford
to live. By the way, milk is doing the same thing.
That is it for now.
5/20/2004
11:55am
It has been a horrible morning. First of all, I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night.
Then my Dad wakes me up because he feels he has to take a shower at 7am. Then I have to get him back up to take him
to get some blood work done at the doctor's office. Then on the way home, all he can do is say that I am wasting his
money by taking him to the doctor, and all he is in it for is the money. Well, that is all anyone is in a job for.
He worked for years at the factory. He didn't do it for all those years just to keep busy. He did it to get the
money. But all he can think about is money. So in his own ways of thinking, he will go to hell because he is greedy.
Normally, I wouldn't back down from an arguement or debate, but in his condition, I don't have the patience to make him understand
what I am talking about. But in his mind, everything is about the money. When we pass a gas station in the middle
of the night that has a well lit canopy for the safety of the customers, all he can say is "What a waste of electricity.
I would hate to pay their electric bill." Or when we go past a business that went belly up, all he can say is, "They
couldn't afford the electric bill." Not everything is about the electric bill or money. But you can't get that
through to him.
Anyway, after taking his abuse and the multiple times of him saying, "When the money is gone, you'll learn.",
I decided to turn on the radio really loud to drown him out and ignore him. To tell you the truth, I would be the happiest
person in the world if I never had to see or talk to him ever again.
Once we got home, the doctor's office called and said that they wanted him to adjust his medication and
come back in a week. I am dreding this. Because I will have to go through this whole thing again. God, my
brother has it so good. He doesn't have to deal with any of his shit. It isn't fair. I wish he could take
him for six months out of the year so he could get a taste of the pain and torment I have to put up with.
Even though he put me in all this pain, I still put a TV in his room so he can watch his Westerns anytime
he wants. But do I get any thanks for it? No! Nothing I do is good enough for him. He doesn't follow
the rules. He doesn't do what he is supposed to. I am about to go insane.
But all this is doing one thing for me. It is inspiring me to do my reading and try to get a job.
I just feel like I gotta get out of here.
Well, that is it for now.
5/14/2004
11:41am
Wow! Two blog entries in a row. Better take a deep core sample, cause I think hell
is freezing over.
I am watching "The Screen Savers" right now and they had a two guys on there that modified Unreal Tournament
2004 to be a sports game. They said that the editor came with the game and that is how they got started. I didn't
know this. So I went to my copy of the game, and there it is. It looks pretty decent. The only problem is,
how do I use it. I knew that an editor came with Neverwinter Nights, but I never did anything with it. I hope
this is a new trend of the high end games where they encourage people to modify the games to make them better. That
is the best way.
But my point is, I think this programming is the kind I want to do. I want to make games. Someone
said that modifying games is the first step to building games. It lets you learn the coding process as well as how the
game is put together overall. The only problem is, it takes a whole team to build a game in a reasonable amount of time.
It takes a game company 2 years and a staff of 100 to make a decent game these days. But, life is lived in baby steps.
And every journey starts with a single step.
It is raining here. I hate the rain when it is cold. I don't mind the rain when it is warm,
I just hate the lightning because I can't use my computer.
Well, that is it for now. I will try to write more later.
2:12 pm
I'm back. Surprised?
I just got back from lunch with my father. I really didn't feel like cooking so we went out to lunch.
I was going to go to this place called Cheapseats for lunch. But there was no parking available. Pity. I
love their Cheapseats Burger with a fried egg on top. Everyone should try it. Anywho, instead, we went to my favorite
place in a town near up. Half way there, Dad told me he wanted a salad. If I had known that, I would have chosen
differently. But luckily, they served salads there.
While we were waiting for our food, Maury came on. They had the subject, "Stop cheating on me and
prove you're the Daddy" or something like that. These talkshows are rediculous. Who in their right mind would
want to air their dirty laundry on national television. Then, the first woman wanted her man to admit that he was the
father of her child. So he took the DNA test and found out that he wasn't the father. The woman was devistated.
Come on! Was this a surprise to her? Was she not there when she had sex with another man? It must have at
least remotely crossed her mind. I mean it wasn't the immaculant conception or anything.
Then the next woman came on and wanted to know if her man was cheating on her. So he recorded a message
before the show and admitted that not only was he cheating on her but it was her sister and he got her pregnent. She
was devistated, of course, and runs from the stage. Her man goes after her. He ends up trying to hold her while
she is crying uncontrolably. Again, do these people not think something like this will happen when they get the call
to go on the show. And what was he trying to do when he was comforting his wife? Was he thinking that by holding
her, everything would be forgiven? This is rediculous. If these shows are an accurate cross section of the american
people, we are in worse trouble than I thought.
Well, thats it for now. We will see what happens next.
5/13/2004
Sorry for not writing for a while. I have been wallowing in self-pity lately and haven't had time
to do a blog entry. Besides, not much has happened to me lately. But here we go.
Yesterday, my father had an appointment for the foot doctor. I took him out for lunch and then we
returned home to wait for the half hour until the appointment. He tells me that he is going for a walk. I remind
him that he has an appointment and needs to be back in 20 minutes. So off he goes. He was only supposed to go
around the block. 5 minutes until the appointment, and he isn't back yet. So I hop into my truck and search for
him. He was no where in a block radius. So I decided to check one of his hangouts that he isn't supposed to go
to. He was there sipping a cup of coffee that he isn't supposed to drink. I was furious and told him that he has
an appointment and was supposed to be back in 20 minutes. Then I told him that he was only allowed to go one block
from home because he can't see well and could get run over or mugged or something. All he could say was,"I is such a
nice day." That has nothing to do with it. So I will have to restrict him to only going out with someone else.
No more trips alone. You give him an inch, he takes a mile.
Well, that is about it for today. I hope my friend Dave is happy. He has been asking for a blog
entry for a while.
Later.
5/1/2004
Welcome to May. Just another Fucking month in my book. Moving to another month doesn't make
my life any easier or fairer.
Anyway, since I can't find a fucking job, I am thinking about doing a documentary on my life. I know
what you are saying. That would be an awful short and boring documentary. What else am I supposed to do?
Twiddle my thumbs and watch Dragonball GT while my life goes by? Anyway, it is just for me. Its something to do
with the video camera. Hell, I paid for it and all it does is sit there. I even have the computer that can digitize
the movie. Might as well use it.
Well, that is all for now.
Later.
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