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4/30/2004
Well, congrats are in order. I found out today that my life is officially screwed up beyond all recognition.
I applied for a State tax ID number 2 weeks ago so I could start my business on the internet and sell some
stuff on ebay. Well, I got the word today that I was denied the number due to the fact that when my former friend and
I had our computer business, he neglected to file tax returns on the earnings or lack of earnings. So the late fees
and penilties added up and now, if I want my tax number, I have to pay $4000-6000 that the business owes. And of course,
my former friend refuses to pay it because he believes he is in the right. But my name is on the debt too. So
they are stopping me from doing business. So I am now F.U.B.A.R.
I have nothing left to help me earn money. I can't find a job, I can't go back to school because I
owe on student loans, and I can't start my own business. What is left? Begging in the streets? I am already
begging on the internet and can't get anything from it.
So all that is left is to let myself die when my body gives out. I can't think of anything else.
I might as well do my comic strip. But no one will ever pay for that.
Well, that is enough depression for now.
Later.
4/29/2004
I'm back. Sorry for not writing in the blog for a while. I have had other things taking my attention.
Anywho...
My Dad has been driving me crazy lately. All he does is talk about how certain people wouldn't last
a day on the front lines of a war. But in his current condition, neither would he. Everything has to be life and
death with him. Then he says "You'll find out." I don't know what he means by that. I am too old to be drafted
and I don't plan to join up. I think he hates me. I think he has always hated me, but he can't survive without
me. He would never admit it either.
I grow weary of his abuse. He doesn't follow the rules I have in place to secure his safety, he gripes
about everything, and he accuses me of wasting his money. Well, I say if he doesn't like how I take care of him, he
can go live in a nursing home. Why should I spend any more of my life trying to please him. I can't. So
I got my brother's permission to put him in a home and go back to my life. So as soon as I get another job, he is going
to the home. I just can't stand waking up every morning and when I have to deal with him.
There isn't much else to talk about.
Later.
4/12/2004
Well, I finally got the pics taken and up. These pics on the right are the buildings in my hometown
that were in business a few years ago but have been vacant for a while. Either that or the owners let then go so bad
that they look like abandoned buildings. Either way, this is some of the reason I am always depressed. But the
old buildings are not all to blame. Some of the new ones that were built are to blame as well. They went and built
a new building and the business only lasts 6 months in this town. Did they have studies that told them that there is
no industry in this town and with no industry, no money. Oh well. Enjoy the rotting cesspool I call home.
Later.
4/11/2004
God, I don't know why I am cursed with this existance. I am a decent hard working individual.
I am smart, witty, and a likeable guy. Why the fuck can't I find a decent place to work?
I found out that one of my friends is allegedly doing some drugs. I also found out that he doesn't
want anything to do with his old life, like me and his ex-wife and family. Well, it is a blow to me but if that is how
he wants it, fine. He hasn't bothered to call be in 10 months anyway. I used to look up to him and admire him
for what he does, but now, I pitty him. If he wants to throw his life away, let him.
I feel like I need to get away from this whole area of the country. I am so sick of being useless.
I went from Supervising a team at a International company, to being my wife's lacky. It can't get much worse.
I need something that will make my life worthwhile again. But everytime I thought I found what I needed, it isn't what
I needed. I see what makes other people happy and think it is what will make me happy. But it doesn't. So,
I have to ask myself, what will make my happy? And so far, the answer is, I don't know.
- I want to be sure of myself, but not cocky.
- I want to be financially sound, but not rich for the sake of being rich.
- I want to be popular, but not fake popularity or popular for what I can do for someone.
- I want to be leasurely, but not lazy.
- I want to work, but I don't want all of the corporate bullshit of backstabbing and competition to the death.
- I want to live in a country where we vote for the best person, not for the person who we think is least likely
to screw things up.
- I want to hear some good news on the news, not a good conclusion to a bad situation on the news.
- I want to pay 79 cents for a gallon of gas, the price it was before this whole gulf war started in 1990.
I don't know. I just feel kind of depressed right now. I think I could use a drink.
Later.
4/8/2004
Well, here we are in a new month. Woop-te-doo! It is just more of the same. So much has
happened in the last month that will change my life for a while. The loss of my van has complicated a lot of things.
But, as always, I'll manage somehow... even without donations (hint, hint).
I wanted to take some pictures of the closed businesses in this town to give everyone, all three of you,
an idea of why I am still unemployed and that there is no hope of employment.
It is a well known theory that the last businesses to close in a dying town is the bars. So a string
of bar closings would be an effective sign that the town is doomed because there isn't enough money in the town to even support
the drunks and their habit. I have seen several bars close in this town all within a month. A sure sign that this
town is dying. The local glass factory shut down all the lines except one and laid off a lot of people after the beginning
of the year. Even some of the new businesses that came into this town are going out of business. Why they came
in is beyond me.
The local paper has very few worth while jobs in it. And in fact, there is such little news that they
went down to delivering only three issues a week. I would say that this is a sign also.
So whats a guy to do for money around here?
Oh. Here is something interesting I thought of. I was watching "Austin Powers: The Spy
Who Shagged Me" on TBS the other day. Because of the new rules that came about because of the Janet Jackson Justin
Timberlakes incident, you can't say and do certain things on TV and radio. Well, when Austin shot Dr. Evil on the moon,
he was supposed to say the word "A-hole", which is pretty censored as is. But when Fat Bastard was talking to Miss Shagwell,
he said the word "titties", and they let it go. So you can say "Titties" but not "A-hole" on TV. That is like
the judicial system in which they give murderers 10 years in prison and drug dealers 50 years. I agree that they should
both be put away, but don't make dealing drugs a worse crime than murder. Make them both 50 years. But I digress.
A-hole should have been allowed and Titties should have been changed to boobies or something. I didn't even know the
word titties until I was sixteen, but then again, I was a sheltered child.
Anywho, that is about it for now.
Later.
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