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12/31/2003
Happy New Year! Here we come to the end of another terrible year. Nothing accomplished at all
this year. I gotta get going or I'll be dead before I make anything out of my life.
This year will be 15 years out of high school. I gotta do something before the reunion. I can't
walk in and let them know I'm unemployed. This year has to be different. No T.V. All reading. Oh,
and I also have to loose 200lbs. (Yes, I said 200lbs.)
Later.
12/27/2003
I've got to find some way of making money. It can't be that hard. Imagrants come to this country
everyday with nothing and make millions of dollars a year once they get here. I've been here all my life and can't even
get a part-time job for minimum wage.
I've been writing lately. If I just write down my ideas, maybe I'll get a decent book out of it.
Well, that's all I can think of for now. Later.
12/25/2003
Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and all of the other Seasons' Greetings. 'Tis the season to be jolly.
And I am glad it is finally over. Being jolly is exhausting.
I didn't do much today. I went to the in-laws for their meal. It was okay. Then we watched some
westerns on AMC and came home where my Dad continued to watch the westerns.
I looked through my freezer and decided to start vacuum packing all of my frozen items to make them last
longer. I got a little done but I will do more tomorrow. Starting next month, I'm going to go to Sam's Club and
get everything in bulk to make my food money last longer. Also, I am going to see about microwave sectioned plates to
make meals in advance to save time.
Well, thats about it for now. Later.
12/21/2003
Well, I turned in my retirement from the last job I had and got enough money to upgrade my computer and
get a cool laptop. But something always happens when you finally get a break. The van needed work and it cost
me a little money to get it working again.
Christmas is just around the corner. I remember when I was a kid and the antisipation of the presents
would be incredible. I would drink a huge glass of water before going to bed so I could get up at 2am so I could open
my presents. But I would always get caught. But it seems like these days, I can't wait for Christmas to get here
at Thanksgiving and I can't wait for it to be over by a week before Christmas. Then comes the cold weather for 4 or
5 months, which sucks bigtime. But right now, I have no Christmas spirit left. I have only one or two close friends
that I can take joy in spending time with at the holidays. I never really enjoyed family during the holidays.
My Mom's side of the family was always so stuffy and always gossiped about other people. My Dad's side was the proverbial
red neck family that just talked about farming and made you do work on the holiday. I probably won't really get Christmas
spirit until I have my own kids. But I am not going to ruin it for them.
I am still feeling the need to do something with my life. I told myself this morning that I wasn't
going to turn on the TV and I was going to read my book instead. Then, while I was eating breakfast, I turned it on
for a little entertainment... and didn't turn it off all day. Needless to say, nothing got done. I know.
It is my own fault.
I just feel so crappy. I wake up feeling crappy, I spend my day feeling crappy, and I go to bed feeling
crappy. I don't know what to do about it. I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror anymore. With
no clothes on, I kind of look like Fat Bastard in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. If you haven't seen it,
its not pretty. But I just don't have the strength to exercise... mentally and spiritually I mean. My problem
isn't just my body, but in my mind and soul. I don't know what to do. I just feel worthless.
Later.
12/11/2003
Well, just another day.
I went to this bar last night where they had some of the kids in the local college doing a improv kind of
like that show, Who's line is it anyway. They did a great job. They had me laughing out loud several times.
They kept asking the audience for suggestions and I was more than happy to give them some good ones. It was a fun time.
I would like to do it again sometime.
I ordered some more books to learn more on the computer programming. I also got Odd Todd's book.
I can't help it. He is just so funny. If you want to know what I'm talking about, go to my links section and click
the link for Odd Todd.com. Anyway, I hope to finish my Flash book soon and then I will look for a book on ActionScripting
so I can make Flash games. Then I'll move to the Dreamweaver book to learn to make a website.
I am having trouble deciding whether I should do a comic or a Flash movie for my comedy outlet. I
like what people that use either do with it. But I can't do both at the same time. It takes too much work for
only one person. I'll just have to decide for myself. But maybe I'll do a movie like every 3 or 4 months with
the characters just to give everyone a feel for what it could be like. Then I'll see what the people want. But
judging by the attendance of this site, no one will see it.
I really wish my brother would come onto MSN Messager. He hasn't been on for almost a month.
I like talking to him and can't really afford to call him. Oh well. He is probably really busy with his life.
Later.
12/08/2003
Sorry I haven't written for a while. I've been bored out of my mind and have had nothing interesting
to write about for a while.
Well, in general, life sucks. I feel worthless all the time. It takes a great effort to even
get out of bed anymore. And then, I have to face the mess of dished that the wife has been saying that she will do for
the past 4 days. At least I try to do some laundry every day.
I really need to find a way to make money around here. There are no job prospects in this area where
someone can work midnights or evening shift. I wish I could do something from my home. That way, I can keep an
eye on my father.
But, on the bright side, I learned how to colorize my cartoon on the computer easier. I have to hand
it to TechTV. They have really good information on the Screensavers. I just think that Robot wars is a waste
of programming, though. So maybe I can continue with the comic... that is if I can find enough of a storyline.
Personally, I think I should make it into a cartoon in flash. But I haven't been able to get the will to finish the
book yet.
Well, that is about it for now. Later.
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