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09/28/2003
Well, I finally got a ray of hope in my life today. I went to fix my friends computer again full well
expecting to fail like the last times I tried. But this time it worked. One little reg edit and the printer worked.
It really brightened my day.
But, I am still trapped in this life with little hope.
I went to start my comic site on Keenspace.com and saw that they already have two of the same name as mine.
Now what do I do?
I have been seriously considering doing animation of my comic with Flash. If the content is good,
then the art doesn't really matter. But I have a personal pride with my artowrk. The way I figure, if crap like
Catdog or Ren and Stimpy can get a following, why not me.
Well, that's about it for now. Gotta work on learning Flash, if I can read while listening to the
gunfire of my Dad's westerns.
Later.
9/27/2003
Well, its yet another hopeless day in my hopeless life. After not being able to sleep well last night,
I awoke to the same old tasks I do every day. Wake up, find something for my Dad for breakfast, and then waste the day
away in my only pleasure in life... Television. I just don't have the energy to do anything anymore.
I had to go out for some milk and eggs this morning because we were out. That really made a mark on
society.
Then I got a call from my mother. She had the usual good/useless news for me while trying to urge
me to put my father in a home. That really brightened my day.
Then I made pizza for lunch. Well, not really "made". More like warmed til the cheese melted
and the crust was brown.
Then I fried more brain cells watching Saturday's version of what passes for entertainment on television.
Which, by the way, consists of running through all of the channel over and over again until the next half hour and then see
what is on again.
Finally, my wife came home and asked if I "made" her pizza on the one day that she was going to eat it,
but would have never known it was there unless she saw my pizza left-overs out in the kitchen. So then she goes to bed
and says she will do the dishes later, which could mean next month.
Now, I know what you are going to say. "Well, if you are so bored, why don't you do the dished so
she doesn't have to. Well, it all comes to this. Anytime she needs something done in the house, something moved,
fixed, taken down, put up, anything; she comes to me and gets me to do it. All I ask is for her to do the dishes.
I help, if not, do everything else in the house. By the way, she always asks me to do these things just at the important/good
part of what I am watching on television, which I use to get away from my horrible life.
I don't ask for much in life. But the things I do ask for are never given to me. I just want
a job, a nice place to live that is easy to take care of, a bunch of good friends, and to be left alone when I need a break.
Wise people say, you need to know where you are going in order to get there. If you know what you
want to accomplish in life, then you just have to make the right decisions to reach that goal. But what happens if you
don't have a purpose in life. What happens if you have no ambitions, or the ones you do have are so far out of reach,
you never see yourself getting to them. All you do in life is wander from one moment to another moment wondering if
this is what you are supposed to do in life. Then life would be very confusing. Life would be without purpose.
This is my trouble.
You see, I am pretty good at computers. I know how the software works. I can figure out most
programs without reading the manual. People perceive this as intellegence. Well, it isn't. I am faking the
whole thing. I pick up a few things here and there, but not enough to actually know that I am doing reliably.
I make it seem like I know what I'm doing though. I'm kind of like Scotty on Star Trek, I put on a good show.
And people make me into this miracle worker. But, hell, I don't know what the hell I'm doing half the time. I
just try something and see if it works. Then if it doesn't, I try something else. You know... lather, rinse, repeat.
The truth is, I don't have the patience to learn anything in a convensional manner. I want to know
how to do something and I want to know now! And this really sucks, because it has cost me a lot in the long run.
If I had just been patient enough to read my books, I could be doing something completely different right now.
Well, that is enough of a rant for today. Later.
09/22/2003
Well, here we go again. I have been talking to a friend of a friend. He has a website and
is looking for a powerful computer at an inexpensive price. I found some good deals for him. Anyway, he was telling
me about how easy the Macromedia Studio is. So I have been experimenting with Flash and Fireworks and Freehand.
Flash is pretty cool. Then I saw this guy on the internet that has a cartoon series called Laid Off by Odd Todd at http://www.oddtodd.com. It is a funny series and a lot of stuff said that is true. It isn't very well drawn but it is good enough because
he has a book out and a whole line of merchandise. So I figure if he can do it and Greg Dean can do it at http://www.reallifecomics.com , then I can do it too. It is all about the material. So I have to come up with some killer material.
What else? I had to put a restraint on my father's activities. He went with his lady friend
to his usual Sunday night dinner out. The next thing I know, I get a call from a friend that he was seen walking down
the highway and almost got hit by a car. His friend said that she told him to wait with her at the restaurant but he
wouldn't listen and started to walk home when she lost her keys. So now, since she can't take the responsibility of
looking after him, he is not allowed out of the house by himself anymore. I would have told my brother this over MSN
Messager but he hasn't been on all week. Hopefully, he will check this site.
Speaking of this sight, I am looking for a new free sight to host this blog. I want a sight that specializes
in blogs so this looks all professional. So we will see.
The comic is coming along good. I have 25 scripts written out. All I have to do is draw them
and make the backgrounds so I don't use the gradiant all the time. That gets boring to look at after a while.
Well, thats it for now. Later.
09/17/2003
God, I am so tired of the family Bullshit. I just wish everyone would say what they mean. I
am so sick of my father. I try to take care of him. He is 71 years old and every time I take him to the doctor,
all he can complain about is how much money it is costing him to go to the doctor. That the doctor is screwing him out
of all of his money. First of all, he doesn't have the first clue how much it costs to see the doctor, and secondly,
it is all covered by medicare, so you might as well go to the doctor and get taken care of.
Now, the way I was brought up, family was supposed to trust one another. But it seems that I can't
trust anyone anymore. Believe me. If anyone wants to take over caring for my father, they are more than welcome
to try. I would be happy to go back to my old life. Where I had a job, and some money in my pocket, and don't
have to deal with family.
I really hate people that take every word you say and disect everything until they come up with something
that is offensive to them. It is called paranoia (probably misspelled). I had to deal with it in work and now
I have to deal with it in life. It seems like my whole family is paranoid. I even have to be paranoid because
you never know when some relitive will go talking behind your back and then you hear about it. I beleive in being
direct and if you have something to say, say it to their faces. Also, it really burns my beans when someone does something
to you and they know that you know that they did it. Then they come up like nothing happened and expects things to be
the same as before. Well, things will never be the same as before. People should think about how this will effect
the situation before they do it. And then if they do it and it pisses off the person you do it to, then at least have
the decency to not talk to that person again so that they are not reminded of what you did to them.
Things like this is why I escape into the internet and television. Otherwise, I am sure that I would
put a bullet through my head.
09/10/2003
I am going to start working on the comic again. I have come too far to stop now. I just have
to use storylines that actually happen. The only problem is nothing ever happens. Nothing funny anyway.
I'll think of something.
I have been thinking more and more on the stand-up comedy routine. Some comics say that you can find
all the material you need in the newspaper. If that is true, I might be able to make it. After the material is
written, then I'll have to practice my comedic timing. Then, I'll have to find a place to do my act. We'll just
have to see.
I think I am so good at a lot of things. The only problem is I don't know for sure. I have never
completed anything and gotten any opinions on any of my work to see if I was any good.
I am close to completing my Anime Girl drawing. All I have to do is finish the Sholder Guards and
do a background and I am finished. Then we will see if I am any good.
Well, that's it for now. Later.
09/09/2003
Here we are again with another month gone by. Sorry for not writing for a while. I got my DSL
and I had some bad problems with the computer. I ended up having to reinstall the OS 5 times before I got it the way
I like it. Needless to say, I now have everything the way I like it and I should be able to continue as normal... Unless
I acidently let a virus in through the firewall.
I am thinking about going back to one of my old jobs that I quit around 7 years ago. I hated it when
I was there, but I did work there for 5 years. But now the people that I hated are no longer there and I might be able
to get a part-time job there on midnights. I need to start bringing in some more money. I must start rebuilding
my life. Of course, this doesn't take me away from my first task of learning the MCSD and Photoshop 6. I just
won't have the time I had before to work on my Dad's farm.
I was really pissed off when I went to restore my downloaded files and found that half of the disks I burned
as backups didn't burn right. Such a waste. All the music is irreplacable because I can no longer download it
due to the RIAA. This really sucks. If the RIAA really wants to stop downloading on the internet, they should
make it so the public can buy single songs from the store on a mini cd. That way, they are not buying a $20 cd for only
1 or 2 songs. They should also consider the downloading sights as free advertising. If a person likes enough of
the music on a CD, they will buy the CD so that they can have a perfect quality song to listen to in the car or on the home
stereo. I also think that unless these downloaders are calling the songs their own or receiving money for them, they
don't owe anyone anything. I don't think it would be considered stealing.
But who cares about my opinion. I can't even get anyone to look at my sight.
I have also been working on a stand-up comedy act. I have so many things to say, why not get paid
for making people laugh when I do it for free now.
Tomorrow, I will start my reading in Visual Studio.NET. It is a very long book, but by the end of
the book, I will know the program inside and out. I was just exploring the program today and thought of some of the
old practical jokes that could be made very easily with the program, like a message box comes up and you press the "OK" button,
and a fake "formatting C: drive" box comes up and it looks like the program is formatting the C: drive. But it is just
a display. Maybe when you press the "Cancel" button, it says, "Just kidding! See what happens when you open attachments."
That would be funny and informative.
Well, that is about all I can think of for today. Later.
*I will not be held responsible if someone else takes my idea and does this joke and tries to press
legal action on me.
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